im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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