Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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