We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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