You know, be my cock's hype man.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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