I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Come on in and take your pants off
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