why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
