i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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