Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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