I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
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