You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
