Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
