Do you still have your period?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
