bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
