@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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