Someone shit on the floor
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
