Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Your cock deserves a montage
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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