So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You dont lie about slip and slides
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
