I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
