The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
