I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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