do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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