ya dads aren't the best wingmen
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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