Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
