This girl is more easily done than said...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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