Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
love makes seman taste better
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
