he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize