Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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