The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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