i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
