Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
