I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
