Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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