He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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