I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize