these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
