is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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