While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
