Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
