Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
