I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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