I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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