A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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