There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
