Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
