I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
