glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
