I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
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The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize