I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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