I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
