A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
