are you still at the devil's house?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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