i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
