Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
