coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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