I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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