this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
