david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
