We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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