god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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