just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
