Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
